Written April 3, 2014
1. Congratulations, you made it this far.
2. You own it, yes, you really do own it.
3. You have lived long enough to know that what’s old is new again.
4. You understand the advantage of a good moisturizer.
5. People come to you for advice.
6. You love NPR and admit it.
7. YOU are now the authority that people want to question.
8. You know what a card catalog is and how to use it.
9. You are younger than sliced bread, invented in 1928.
1. You read books, actual books, made of paper, from trees.
1. You are older than the World Wide Web.
1. You look smart, you are smart, and you know it.
1. You feel comfortable in your own skin.
1. Your skin has stretched to accommodate the 60 year old you.
1. SPF 50 is your best friend.
1. You were born in the year of the horse.
1. You know what a rotary phone is.
1. When you were a kid, an apple was something you ate.
1. 60 is a unitary perfect number. This won’t happen to you again until you reach the age of 90.
2. The 60th day of a non leap year is March 1st.
2. Kindle is a verb meaning to light or set on fire.
2. You know that before Sesame Street and Kermit the Frog, there was Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans.
2. Twitter is a noun meaning a series of chirps.
2. To tweet is a verb meaning to make a weak chirping sound.
2. Forgetting only means that you have that much more filed away in your head.
2. You don’t have to tolerate toxic people or relationships.
2. Disneyland was under construction the year you were born.
2. And of course, the discounts rock!
2. Applebees, 15 %
3. Ben and Jerry’s, 10%
3. Burger King, 10%
3. Golden Corral, 10%
3. Mrs. Fields, 10%
3. Sonic, 10%
3. Waffle House, 10%
3. Kohls, 10%
3. Subway, 10%
3. Comfort Inn, 20 – 30 %
3. You and Oprah are the same age.
4. Naps are a wonderful thing.
4. You can do math in your head.
4. You can spell without spell check.
4. You’ve actually read a newspaper.
4. Those aches and pains that you wake up with are proof that you’re still alive.
4. Bedtime at 9 p.m.?
4. You’re a cool drink of water on a hot summer day, and you know it.
4. People’s opinion of you doesn’t matter.
4. Floppy disk? Thumb drive?
4. You’re at the top of your game, you are the expert.
5. You say what’s on your mind without apology.
5. You don’t need to have to have anything at all on your mind.
5. You misplace your eye glasses atop your head.
5. You know that before the CD there was the record album.
5. You remember when roses actually had a scent.
5. You walk around with a smile on your face and people want to know what your’re thinking about.
5. Flip flops? Not!!!
5. You watched the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show.
5. A Macintosh was your first home computer.
5. Hushpuppies were shoes and you wore them.
6. And finally!? You’ve aged like a very fine wine.